why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
operation have a gay friend backfired
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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