I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
