so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
