I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
