i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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