Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
