there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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