should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
