How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
