I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize