And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize