His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
worst night to have a conscience
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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