I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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