i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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