is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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