I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
How's work?
Spinning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
