But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
