yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
