I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
worst night to have a conscience
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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