Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize