Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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