Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Sober January is a disaster.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
