Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
