well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
