My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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