The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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