That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We don't watch enough power rangers
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
