our cab driver is having phone sex.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
