just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize