My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
