it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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