pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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