i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it hurts more in the daytime
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
