i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Randomize
