I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
should my penis look like a turkey
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
