Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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