Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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