I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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