You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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