I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
