Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Of course I have a pirate flag
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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