I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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