Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize