I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
im on a boat
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