i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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