holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sext me about skeletons
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
