i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I smell like Dick and happiness
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