hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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