carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
