Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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