so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
