Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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