i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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