Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
