so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
