She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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